Lurking in the bushes, ready to steal my JOY!

Is staying busy a good thing?

I never use to think so; I always thought that being so busy was a form of self mutilation. :)

But lately I have been convicted of my idleness, my “non-busyness” per say.

I have a friend that is always so busy, running from here to there. She has her whole day planned out that includes playtime with her kids, personal time for herself, hubby time, dinner time, lunch dates, doctor’s appointment, pet grooming appointments, going to the gym every day, grocery shopping, church, ballet practice, etc. I get exhausted just reading about her days sometimes.

I don’t know a lot about her struggles but it appears that she generally has good days, that she is happy, she is fit, she is beautiful and always put together. So why is it that my days consist of way less and yet I feel exhausted, stressed out, discouraged, unfit, and looks like a mess?

I am in idle….I am coasting along. Living and not thriving. And because I am idle, I have turned myself into the most perfect, ideal prey.

“An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”

Would someone choose to be attacked? I sure wouldn't, but yet I have been. I have been being attacked almost every day. I am in idle and idleness means you have no particular goals in mind and thus can be easily distracted. 

Satan has been distracting me with just about anything and everything. And I want him to stop! He rejoices when I am down, he has no interest in making me happy, and he wants to ruin my life and the life of those around me. I refuse to let him.

He is fast, but I need to be faster.

^“Control yourselves and be careful! The devil, your enemy, goes around like a roaring lion looking for someone to eat. Refuse to give in to him, by standing strong in your faith.”  1 Peter 5:8-9

It is going to take some training. It is not going to come naturally. But I will no longer choose to allow the devil to prowl his way into my idle mind that sits at home.I am going to train to run the race, run the race so hard that I will be like the gazelle escaping the claws and sharp fangs of the enemy, I will not be the easy prey snorting along waiting for the enemy to attack.

“Save yourself like a gazelle escaping from a hunter” Proverbs 6:5

I will escape! I will escape alive, healthy and ready to continue to run the race with victory.

25 things most people may not know about me.

So I have been waiting and waiting for something blog worthy to happen in my life, so I can update my blog. I got sick of waiting so decided to something for fun.
Listed below are 25 random facts about me. Count up the ones you knew and lets see who knows the most about me.

1.) I brush my teeth in the shower
2.) I always put my left sock/shoe on first
3.) I have no middle knuckle in my pinky finger
4.) I hate hot weather...like really really hate it.
5.) I want to own and operate a bed and breakfast on the coast of the ocean.
6.) I love the smell of puppy breath!!!
7.) When I was younger I sleep walked and peed in the clothes hamper in the bathroom. lol
8.) I broke a 26 year old addiction to biting my nails like 3 weeks ago.
9.) If I had all the money in the world, whenever I would see something that reminded me of someone I would buy it for them and mail it to them, without them knowing who it was from.
10.) I have had a pierced nose once in my life..haha like seriously "one day" and I still have a desire to have it again.
11.) I have an unhealthy obsession with my hair. :D
12.) My favorite part of the day is when I put on my pajamas.
13.) I have a huge scar on my upper right arm that will always remind me of my best friend in high school.
14.) I love the "beauty marks" on my face and where they are placed.
15.) I once by accident cut off all my eyelashes on my right eye....that was a very sad day!!
16.) I was the first girl in my 3rd grade class to have a pair of high heels..and everyone always wanted to wear them. So I operated a shoe swap with my friends at school. :)
17.) I hate lipstick, but I have strong to desire to be able to pull off a red lip, but know I never will.
18.) I am already planning all the details to my second wedding (vow renewal)....to the same love of my life. :)
19.) I consider myself artsy but cannot draw with a pencil and paper if my life depended on it.
20.) I recently made a vow to myself to not cut my hair for at least 2 years, excluding my bangs.
21.) When I was 13 I had a crush on a pizza delivery guy, and would order pizza just to see him. lol
22.) I am a very aggressive, animated driver behind the wheel.
23.) I have only been stung by a bee twice in my life. My first time was 3 years ago
24.) I love the ocean...but will never ever swim in it. I have a fearful admiration of it.
25.) I don't like the sound of my voice when I hear it recorded. It makes me cringe.

Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come to pass, and life here in North Carolina is finally feeling like our new normal.

When this whole transition process started this summer, our life felt like it turned upside down. I don’t do well with transition and most people you would talk to would agree that they don’t either.

Some transitions are easier than others, some you can get by without “having” to put a lot of faith and trust in the Lord. But some, all you have is the Lord. And this is what this transition has been for me.

When we graduated from New Tribes, the transition was easy…too easy. We left our tiny two bedroom apartment with no running water in Jackson and moved to a beautiful two story house in Albion that we were blessed with the opportunity to house sit for a year. Peace a cake!!

But we learn that the Lord wants us to place our faith and trust in Him not only in the easy times but also in the bad. This transition seemed bad at first; I was losing so much and didn’t see any gain at all. We were moving away from family, friends, our church, our state. Ugh! Could it get any worse? 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

During the summer when people would ask how I was doing with the transition, I would tell them one thing every time: “I can’t wait until October, by the time October gets here things should be “normal” again.”

 October is a day away, and I am happy and thrilled to say that things are our new normal. We are settled in our home, we are familiar with our new city, we have found a church, Rodney has a job, River is loving school, and the weather is finally cool. 

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

Through this transition I was revealed a lot of speed bumps I have in my walk with the Lord. I have grown closer to the Lord during this time and also closer to my husband.

Rodney and I have so much time to be together and spend together, that it has truly been a blessing.

I can now truthfully say that I am thankful for where the Lord has us, and I look forward to the future and what He is going to do with us. Although that means transition again, the Lord always proves Himself faithful.

Who's Your MOMMA!!?

A Beautiful Woman.

An awesome cook and baker.

A person in which I outgrew her shoe size in the 6^th grade.

A person with a great laugh.

A sinner who makes mistakes.

A person I can talk to on the phone for 4 hours straight.

A person I grew apart from in my rebellious teen years.

A person who forgives.

A person that held my hand during childbirth.

A person that when I hug is starting to remind me of my grandma.

A person with no toe nail.

A person that has great style.

A person that can run a marathon wearing high heels.

A strong survivor.

An adult I can cuddle with other than my husband.

A person that made everything a special fun memory.

A person that loves hard.

A person that is often mistaken.

A person that is taken for granted of.

A person I am very thankful for.

A person who is a wonderful Grandma to my two beautiful kids.

A person who through mistakes and trials is an amazing mom to myself.

A person I would not trade for the world.

A person that I want to take care of and hold.

A person I pray for everyday.

A person that is in the hands of the Lord.

A person I can challenge and encourage.

A person who I desire to have a happily ever after for.

A person who is probably crying while she reads this.

A person that I miss.

A person that I can’t wait to see and spend time with.

A person that has answered to many names:

Mom, Mommy, Ma, Mum, Mumma, Woman. :)

I love you Mom!!

Thanks Mom, you're the best!

So this marks one of the days I have dreaded since the day my little boy was born.

                         River James May

                           May 23rd, 2005  

Today he woke up and brushed his teeth, combed his hair, picked out his own clothes, and put on his shoes and backpack and was all ready for his first day of kindergarten.

He was READY!!!....but his momma wasn't. As we walked him to the bus stop I was very nervous about letting him get on a bus all by himself and leaving his momma standing there on the sidewalk alone.

The bus was late...too late. So we decided to take him to school ourselves. And I am so glad we did. The Lord blessed me with a memory and visual image I will have in my head for the rest of my life.

Laike and I walked River into his school and led him to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. I helped him through the line and showed him what to do and told him to go find a seat while I talked to the lunch lady. When I was done I went up to him to take his picture eating and said our goodbyes.

As I was walking away, I heard a little voice say "excuse me, I need help opening my milk". I stopped and turned around to look at him and the lady was too busy and not hearing his little voice. My heart strings were tugging...."should I go and help him?"...."should I walk away and let him figure it out?".  Needless to say I turned around and went back to help my little boy open his milk and explained that he needs to be louder when asking for help. His reply was, "Thanks mom, you're the best".

I said goodbye again and turned around and started walking out the lunch room, I got into the hall and looked through the windows to see my beautiful baby boy gazing at me with a smile and a small wave. My heart sunk, and the tears started flowing.

Wednesday August 25th, 2010 was one of the longest days I have ever had. I missed my son. Waiting until 3 o clock was like waiting for Christmas to arrive. Rodney, Laike and I were down at the bus stop waiting and waiting for what seemed like forever. Our hearts skipped a beat as we saw a bus coming, as it got closer we realized it was not his. ahhh it was torture.

Then there it came, bus #205 and it stopped and the doors opened and around the corner approaching the stairs was River with big smiles happy to see us!

He was home with me again and I made it through the first day....barely might I add. 

It feels as though we are sinning

This is our first time living outside of Michigan and 

many culture shocks have come with it.

What do you Michiganders think of when you see a photo like this?

Here are the many things I think of:

GAS MONEY!!

many month's of savings

spare change

a gallon of milk

going out to eat

renting a movie

buying baby formula

Spending Money!!

This is the culture shock we think of the most. Rodney and I grew up with our families saving pop cans and we saved pop cans and if things ever got tight, we could turn to our stash of pop cans in the garage. Things are different here in North Carolina....we throw them away...in the GARBAGE!! This is insane for us to even think about doing. 

We are also use to this:

 Money, money, money!!

and MEIJER!

My lovely hard work of saving pop cans could award me with $35 to spend on anything of my choosing at Meijer's. A new purse, sunglasses, and even shoes!

There is no Meijer here in North Carolina and there is no waiting in stinky long lines to return your pop cans to get a few extra bucks.

This makes me sad. 

So every time we throw our pop cans in the garbage it feels as though we are sinning. And we would like to apologize in advance to our fellow michiganders, that if and when we come to visit, don't yell at us if we throw one of these beloved cans into your garbage. 

Sunny with a High of 95

This morning I woke up for the first time in our new home, with the sun beaming through the windows unto my face. I laid there and enjoyed the moment.

We arrived on Wednesday night around 7pm and started unloading the back of the pickup truck. Unfortunately we live on the 4th story of the apartment building. So Rodney had quite the work out cut out for him.

The entire time we were unloading the truck, lighting and thunder was flashing and booming in the distance. The Lord provided and held out the rain until the exact moment our last piece of furniture made it through the doors to the building. And then the downpour started. Sheets and sheets of rain were falling from the sky.

We still had the U-Haul to unload, but we had 3 problems: It was pouring rain, it was 10pm and we were exhausted!

We went and found a hotel to spend the night at and got a good night's rest. Then back at it in the morning. We finished unloading the U-Haul and said our goodbyes to Phil and Carlene.

What a blessing they were. To not have to haul the trailer 650 miles and the incredible help they were at helping us unload. Thank you so much!!

We spent the day out and about, here are a few things we did on our first day in Winston-Salem:

Enrolled River and Laike in school at Diggs-Latham Elementary

Went to the ginormous Hanes Mall that puts the Grandville Mall to shame

Ate at Chick-fil-a, and it was amazing!!! Yummy yum yum

Kids rode the carousel and did the bungee cord bounce at the mall.

Bought some nice smelly soaps and candles to make our new home smell like home.

Went to Walmart, and bought some needed supplies for the fridge and home.

And that was about it. :)

We are excited to continue to get lost as we explore this beautiful place.

It's gonna be a BUSY one!!!

Whew!! These next 6 days are going to be jam packed for our family.

Tomorrow morning we are loading up the vans with teens and heading to our hometown area.

The morning will consist of me dropping River and Laike off at Grandma’s for the weekend and then joining back up with the youth group, for a fun filled afternoon soaking up the sun on the river. We will take a 3 hour tubing trip down the Muskegon River.  We will be doing many other things Friday night and Saturday morning.

Once Saturday rolls around the teens will be riding back with Chad and Rachel and Rodney and I will stay up north to take that time to visit with our families and say our goodbyes before we head out to North Carolina.

Be praying for us, as it is going to be a very emotional 6 days.

Sunday we will be spending the day on Lake Michigan. We will be part of witnessing a baptism of a fellow co worker that Rodney use to work with 7 years ago, that recently came to Christ. That will be a joyful celebration and we look forward to that.

Then the rest of the week is busy with traveling from parent to parent, spending time visiting, and sharing meals with one another. And probably more time explaining what in the world we are doing moving to North Carolina.

Be praying for us, as our parents and siblings and relatives don’t really understand why we do the things we do. Pray that we will have wisdom, and gentleness as we share our testimony of faith with them.

I will also need to be getting some paperwork stuff taken care of…which includes a trip to the courthouse to get a copy of the kid’s birth certificates, and running to Grandville to place an order for one of my brides.

I will keep reminding myself to…….Breathe!

Where is the "good" in goodbye?

As I sat in church this morning, surrounded by my family and people I have grown to love these past two and a half years, I thought to myself; “How can there be anything good about saying goodbye?”

I looked at individuals….Jon Sausser playing the guitar, Rachel Green singing, Cheri Parks playing the piano and catching a glimpse of Esther Byler out of the corner of my eye signing and again I thought to myself how can I rejoice in leaving.

I am not ready.

I am not ready to say goodbye.

I am not ready to leave our youth.

I am not ready to make new friends.

I am not ready to cry.

Thankfully the Lord can do a lot with very little time. I trust that the Lord is going to prepare me to say goodbye to our teens this coming week. I know there is going to be tears as we sit around the campfire, but I also know there will be laughs while we remember the last few years we had together.

I realized today, that saying goodbye is a very selfless thing to do, but holding on is selfish.

I have the temptation to want to hold onto my girls. 

I want to hold onto Lauren.

I want to hold onto Aggie.

I want to hold onto Katie.

I want to hold onto Alex.

I want to hold onto Maddy.

I want to hold onto Ashtine.

I want to hold onto Teddi.

I want to hold onto Stephanie.

I love my girls, but they are not mine. They belong to the Lord. I cannot hold onto them for myself, but what I can do is hold them up in prayer.

So as I get ready to spend a week with them…

I pray that the Lord will help me to hand them over,

and to say GOODBYE.

2 weeks left....you have got to be kidding me!!!

So yesterday I did some errands with Katie in tow, we were talking about us leaving and that was when it had dawned on me that we have 2 weeks left here.

Lots of things are going through my mind these past couple of days. Places I go, people I see that won’t be my normal anymore.

One of my errands yesterday was to drop off a letter to Russell and Carly….talk about bittersweet. For those of you who don’t know, the Kloosterhuis’s moved into the apartment we use to live in while we were at New Tribes. Yesterday was my first time seeing it since we left it last June.

Things are just getting weird…..

After we chatted with Carly for awhile we said our goodbyes and I took Katie to go see the “pool”, which isn’t a pool anymore.  I walked up and down the halls and smelled familiar smells, memories of my family were coming back to me. And then something dawned on me.

I don’t like change…..

I have moved way too much in my life that it seems like I would be use to it by now. This fall when we move to Winston-Salem, it will be the beginning of living in my 17^th home.

Please be praying for us while we make the preparations to go through this change. Many things still need to fall in place and there are a few things we still need.

Be praying for:

 myself, as I have to edit and deliver orders for 3 weddings I did this past month.

beds for the kids, we are looking for bunk beds because they save space.

bedding for twin beds and a queen bed.

that we could find affordable living close to the college.

finances to fall in place.

finding a school for the kids to attend this fall.

looking for a chest freezer to transport food and to have while attending school.

the kids as we still need to explain what is happening.

our youth.

our family to accept and support the news.

Taking Leaps of FAITH!

Our family is going through so much transition right now. I have a feeling this post is going to be an extra long one, trying to catch everyone up on our life.

This transition period has been especially hard on myself. Lots of things are changing and everything in our life that we thought was our normal has become very different.

It started back at the end of May. Although it may seem silly to some people, something in our life happened that really threw us for a whirl. Rodney and I have been married for 7 years and for all of those 7 years we have owned two black labs.

I got Maggie when I was still in high school, before Rodney and I were married. Then after we got married Rodney gave me Molly as a Christmas present. We love our dogs very much and they have been a part of our family. When we moved to New Tribes we were concerned about what we were going to do with them. Thankfully Rodney's mom decided to "babysit" them for two years for us while we were in college.

Last June we were able to go home and pick them up and bring them to their new house and the kids adjusted to having them around again. 

We have housesitted for a couple from our church that had to go to Africa for a year. We were blessed with a beautiful home in a country setting with lots of space for our dogs to run and for the kids to play.

This last May, Molly disappeared. I called for the dogs to come back into the garage and Molly never came back. Days and weeks went by and we made many efforts to locate her. From putting ads up, asking neighbors, searching in the woods/ditches, animal shelters and we have had no luck. Our prayer is that someone picked her up to keep her. Well that left us with a decision, all of a sudden we had one dog left.

The following weeks were hard and difficult and weird. We would arrive home and open the garage door and only one dog would come to greet us. Maggie started misbehaving and becoming very mopey.

Rodney and I sat down and talked about our future and what it is going to entail. At that point we felt that it was in the best interest to find Maggie a new home, with fellow dogs. A place where her owners would be home and available to give her the attention she needed.

I posted an ad that day and the following day a lady called and wanted to buy Maggie. We sat down and explained to the kids that we wanted Maggie to have friends and that she really misses Molly and we want Maggie to have a better home. They were sad, but seemed to understand the decision.

That night River and I loaded Maggie into the back of my jeep and we headed off for the ladies house. We arrived to a beautiful antique farm house set on a ton of acreage that was completely fenced in and even had a gated driveway. 

We talked to the family and she got to meet the other dogs, and things seemed to go well. One of the main reasons I decided to bring River with me, was so I would stay strong and not cry. That was a very hard thing for me to do.

The next few weeks were very hard and I would think about it and cry. I was excited to be leaving this house and moving because there were too many reminders of our dogs living there with us.

The next month would bring in a lot of stress. We had to move out of our house that we were house sitting for the past year by July 10th and we had no idea where we were staying yet. With no furniture, beds or anything. God was testing our faith and most of all....... my patience.

The Lord revealed to us in His timing...unfortunately not mine, where we would be staying. Some stress was relieved at that point.

So moving week arrived and my mom came down for the last part of it to help me clean the house we were leaving and get it ready for the family to come back to it.

During this whole time our position at First Baptist Church was kind of in question, and we were re-evaluating where we were going to be in the future. After seeking many options, from sending our resumes to different churches and looking into a position in Norway, the Lord laid on our hearts that this may be the perfect timing and transition to go back to school.

This past Sunday, it was announced to our church family and our youth that we would be leaving First Baptist and going back to school so Rodney could earn his Bachelor's. 

It was a rough Sunday for everyone. The news shocked many, but many were thrilled to see us progressing in our faith and trust and our education.

Our last Sunday at church will be August 8th, and then Rodney and I and the family will be moving to Winston-Salem North Carolina for Rodney to attend Piedmont Baptist College to earn his Bachelor's. 

This is a big jump for our family and many more things need to come together before August 8th. Please be praying for us and with us through this transition time. And be praying for the youth group and how we can make a few more memories with them in these last few weeks.

My heart breaks already for the relationships and people we are going to have to say goodbye to.